You can not blame anyone else for your misery. You make yourself miserable. Your physique, bank account, and happiness are all the direct result of your daily habits. In order to get the same result, you have to consistently follow the same habits.
The good news is that you can identify and change the habits that are making you unhappy.
The following are mental habits that should be avoided: and create joy, instead:
1. Assumptions. Making assumptions keeps you from taking action, because you think you know already. For example, if you are pursuing a job, or a relationship, you will not make the effort needed because you may assume that you have everything you need. Or, you may assume that you will not get the job or relationship that you desire, when in fact, you have everything you need. Why assume? Get all the information you need and do your best. Go after it with everything you’ve got! Even if you think you have failed, failure is only feedback. Remember, assumptions often turn out to be wrong.
2. Seeking approval from others. No matter what you do, some people will think you’re fantastic, and others will think you’re a loser. A healthy adult makes choices and takes actions that they believe are correct, whether others approve or not. Trying to make other people happy only leads to you being miserable.
3. Comparing yourself to others. There’s always someone with a bigger house, a nicer car, a more attractive spouse, a better body, or a bigger paycheck. Do not compare yourself to anyone but you. As long as you are on target with the goals you have set, you are winning. If you feel like you are losing ground, that’s just a sign that a few adjustments may be needed, and it’s a good time for reassessment.
4. Procrastination. There are approximately 8,760 hours in a year. It does not matter who you are, what family you were born into, your IQ, or your looks. We all have the same amount of time to create our lives with. What you do with that time determines your results. Wasting time = wasting life, which means your life will be less than it should be.
5. Indecisiveness. Indecisiveness is the ultimate form of procrastination. Choosing nothing is making a choice. It’s a choice to remain stuck and allow life to pass you by. If you’re stuck between a couple of options, just choose. One choice will prove to be as good as another.
· If you’ve done the work to narrow your options, the worst remaining option is much better than failing to make a choice.
6. Only being satisfied with perfection. No need to be a perfectionist; you, the authentic you, is already perfect just the way you are. Can you improve your habits, thoughts and behaviors? Of course you can. We learn from an early age to judge ourselves and so we live by the learned voice of internal judgement which says we are not good enough, and nothing we do is good enough. Give yourself plenty of ways to be happy, not just one. Create joy from within. The need for perfection creates indecisiveness and leads to procrastination. Determine how well something needs to be done and make it happen.
7. Underestimating yourself. After setbacks or negative outcomes, it’s easy to believe you’re less capable than you really are. The natural result is the lowering of your expectations in the future. When you expect less of yourself, you live a life that’s less than it could be. Do not settle! You have greatness within you! Walk in it! Examine past successes and remind yourself of how capable you can be. Remember, failure is feedback. Use setbacks to learn from and improve your plan.
8. Beating yourself up. Mistakes are part of life. Don’t look at them as mistakes, but experiences. Learn from them, don’t live in them, and apply the knowledge you’ve gained. If you don’t learn from it the first time, don’t worry, the opportunity will present itself again and it is up to you whether or not you want to have the same experience again.
So, you now know that you can only blame yourself for your misery, but that only means that you can fix it. Poor mental habits lead to misery. A few simple changes can positively affect your happiness and mental health. Determine how your mental habits are impacting your mood and success. Make the necessary shift, and enjoy a higher level of happiness.